We talked about Bruce Banner (aka The Incredible Hulk). Unlike most superheroes, Bruce hates becoming the Hulk and is always actively trying to find a way for him to be cured and to get rid of his abilities. The reason for this isn't because his annual clothing bill is so huge (because of all the ripped pants), but because when he becomes the Hulk, he loses control and does a lot of things that he regrets later. The Hulk hurts people. The Hulk scares people. For Bruce, the Hulk really is a monster! So, until Bruce finds a cure, he is constantly looking for ways to prevent the Hulk from showing up. He even moves away from everybody he loves and lives in solitude, because he doesn't want anybody to get hurt!
I think that EVERY SINGLE PERSON on the planet can relate to the Incredible Hulk a little bit. Everybody can relate to saying or doing something in the heat of the moment and looking back with regret…recognizing that you said or did something wrong, or that you hurt somebody in some way. This week in our series, we're looking at why ANGER is such a bad thing. (Next week, we'll look at how ANGER can be a GOOD thing!). Whether Anger is good or bad depends on what we do with it. And usually, when we get angry, we naturally burst out and say and do things that God wouldn't be very proud of. It’s kind of tough to control our anger because our natural response is that if someone says or does something mean to us, it’s all about REVENGE, getting payback, hurting them in the same way they hurt us.
1. ANGER WILL GET YOU INTO TROUBLE
Proverbs 19:19 says, “Hot tempered people must pay the penalty. If you rescue them once, you will have to do it again”.
Has anger ever gotten you in trouble? Most people who are in jail because of fighting or committing violent crimes against other people, aren't there because they were happy and chill at the time- it's usually because they did something foolish when they were angry or wanted revenge. Almost all of us have gotten in trouble with our parents because of something we said or did while angry. When we get punished during those times, it's because our parents want us to learn how to respond in healthy ways so that we don't turn out to be 30-year-olds who stomp our feet, scream at the top of our lungs, and slam doors. We usually get in trouble when we don't control our anger.
2. ANGER CAN WRECK YOUR REPUTATION
I shared a story about a guy I used to work with at Canadian Tire who would always get angry REALLY easily. During my time working there, I saw him punch walls, throw things, and even pick fights with customers. As entertaining as that was, it was also SUPER stressful. I didn't like working with him because he had such a crazy temper. He acted like a kid throwing a temper tantrum!
Proverbs 29:11 (NLT) says, “FOOLS VENT THEIR ANGER”.
Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NLT) says, “Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool”.
Did you catch the key word there? If you don’t control your anger, you’re the one who’s going to look bad. It'll affect how others think of you!
3. ANGER USUALLY HURTS PEOPLE
Proverbs 27:4 says, “Anger is cruel, and wrath is like a flood”.
I really like what the Bible says there…comparing wrath to a FLOOD. What do people do when there’s a flood? THEY EVACUATE! It makes sense that hot-tempered people have others EVACUATING from their lives. Cruel people aren’t going to be surrounded by friends. People who lash out and abuse the people around them shouldn’t be surprised when their “loved ones” have to escape the danger zone…sometimes for good!
Hebrews 12:14-15 says, “Work at living in peace with everyone…Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many”.
Do you know what it means to be bitter or what “bitterness” is? It means that you hold a grudge against someone and refuse to let it go. I’ve met people who NEVER speak to family members because they were hurt by something that was done to them years ago. And usually those people are super grumpy and unhappy because they have so much anger in their hearts. They’re just letting it stew inside!
Almost always, people who can’t control their temper will end up hurting the people around them!
SO HOW DO WE DEAL WITH THE BIG GREEN MONSTER?
A) LOOK TO GOD FOR HELP
In Galatians 5:22, Paul lists what he calls “the fruit of the spirit”. These things are the RESULTS that come from being close to God and growing in your faith. So just like a tree grows fruit, if you love and follow Jesus, if you’re a part of church or CATALYST regularly, if you read the Bible and think about what it says, if you pray and ask God to help you, you’ll see these things start GROW in your life! You’re going to see yourself changing for the better! It’s pretty cool!
“The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: (these kinds of things grow IN US, as we grow in our faith) LOVE, joy, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, faithfulness, GENTLENESS, and SELF CONTROL”
Just look at that list—a lot of those things are the COMPLETE opposite of anger! When you’re frustrated, God will help you have more peace and patience, when you’re annoyed at someone, you’ll have more love and kindness. When you normally would explode on someone and unleash your wrath, you’ll be more self-controlled and respond with GENTLENESS.
Those things are a huge benefit when you follow Jesus with your life! God will keep fixing you up and changing you into the best version of yourself! In fact, that’s one way you can tell that you’ve got good spiritual health—when you notice those good changes more and more in your life! It's kind of like fixing up an old house. When you invite Jesus into your life, the Holy Spirit starts renovating you—he fixes stuff that’s broken, he gives things a new coat of paint, and years later, you’ll see a ton of improvements!
B) USE YOUR HEAD!
Proverbs 29:11 says, “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control”.
Proverbs 12:16 says, “A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted”.
Here, the Bible is telling us to use our heads…instead of automatically BLOWING UP when something goes wrong or when somebody offends us…we should think about what the best and wisest response might be. Some people will give themselves some time to cool off so that they don't say or do something they would regret when they're angry. I’ve heard of some people who will write a BRUTAL letter expressing all of their anger, and then hold onto it for a few days…and usually by then, their anger isn’t as intense and they’re glad they didn’t say those things to that person’s face. (Just don’t put the letter in an envelope and put a stamp on it—because I think I’ve seen movies where that kind of thing gets mailed, and then you have to break into the person’s house to try to steal it back…and that usually doesn’t go so well.)
James 1:19-20, “Take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life (right living) that God desires”.
Talk about practical advice! We’re encouraged not to have emotional outbursts and immediately react when we’re offended, but to take a breather—to be SLOW to become angry—to be SLOW to speak and say things that we’ll regret later! The Bible says that wise people are self-controlled and think before they say or do something they’ll regret
C) MAKE THINGS RIGHT
There are times when it’s too late...we blow up, we hulk out, and we’ve left a path of destruction behind us….perhaps we’ve even created some enemies? And while the easy thing to do would be to walk away, ignore the problem and not deal with our sin, the Bible tells us that in those instances we have to suck up our pride, admit our mistakes, and be quick to make things right. THAT IS SUPER HARD TO DO, but it’s also SUPER HEALTHY to do!
Ephesians 4:26-27 (NLT) says, “Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil”.
Here, the Bible says that if we’ve let anger control us, we need to make things right BEFORE THE SUN GOES DOWN! It’s important for us to apologize when we’ve hurt people and ask them to forgive us! It’s important that we tell God that we’re sorry for the things we’ve said and done and ask him to forgive us! Have you ever been in the same room with someone you’re angry with? It can be super awkward. It almost feels like there’s a wall between you—sometimes you won’t even look at them or talk to them! Well, God wants us to work at fixing broken relationships—he wants us to tear those walls down and own our mistakes—to apologize for our part--- and when we do that, it usually is the first step in repairing the relationship and it usually removes that heavy feeling in the room.
Ephesians 4:31-32 says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words and slander, as well as all types of evil behaviour. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you”. When we pray and ask God to forgive us for our sin (something wrong that we’ve done) it fixes our friendship with him. In the same way, when we forgive others (or ask other people to forgive us), it fixes our friendship with them too!
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS FOR HOME
1. What is the one thing parents do that makes teenagers really angry? What is the one thing teens do that makes parents really angry? Talk about how you can prevent those situations from happening or how to respond in healthy ways. What is something that you could do to help you not respond in those ways?
2. Pray and ask God to help you to control your anger so that it doesn't hurt yourself and others.
No comments:
Post a Comment